The next time you’re in a public place with high ceilings, look up. Look for the dead balloons, the ones that didn’t make it outside, the ones that got stuck in the rafters. The ones that strived to touch heaven but were held back by their heavy coloured casings. Look for the shrunken and shriveled rubber, the withered plastic that has stuck to the metal or glass between itself and the sky. Or got it’s string tangled in a beam or a lightbulb. They are in varying states of deflation, as the stale, moist helium eventually becomes one with its maker. Once you see one, you will see them everywhere you go.

These kinds of objects hold a special fascination for me.

1. I wonder how long they are allowed to stay there.
2. Who has to clean them up, and how do they do it?
3. How many balloons get stuck in a ceiling per year?
4. How many abandoned balloons are “too many” and the manager sends someone up to get rid of them?
5. Why do they melt and stick to things as they lose air?
6. How long does it take, on average, for the fully deflated and stuck balloons, to eventually peel away and fall?
7. How many actually hit people below and scare the shit out of them?
8. What is the most popular colour of discarded balloons, if any?
9. Are there any buildings where balloons are banned from entry?
10. Are there people who collect or document these popped objects?

If you have any answers or observations, please leave a comment.

1. DISTRACTION IS OK
In fact, it’s preferred. (Right now I’m trying to give my daughter a bath!)

2. USE AVAILABLE MATERIALS
Don’t wait for the perfect set-up, it won’t happen. Don’t pine for your ’special pen’. Use lipstick on a napkin or fog a window with your stinkin’ breath and draw with your finger. Just get it out!

3. DRAW PICTURES
You don’t always have to write words. Use colours, faces, shapes, dots, musical notation, semaphor, morse code, fruit, animals, IKEA furnature.

4. CONNECTIONS DON’T MATTER
Don’t try to be smart. Don’t care if you’re daft. The solution does not have to relate to the problem. Your brain works in strange ways so you might as well get used to it. Let it go.

5. PANIC!/RELAX…
Panic! See what comes out. It might be crazy or shakey or too garbled to read. Then close your eyes, take a deep breath and hold it. Shut out the world. What do you see in your mind’s eye? Write it down fast because you’ve got less than a minute. Panic! Repeat as necessary.

6. WRITE THROUGH THE GAP
If you have a block or a moment or synaptic silence, just barrell through it. Write down anything so long as it’s something. The first word in your head is a start. If there is nothing in your head than look around you. Make associations or just plain obvious observations (”That man has grey socks”). You made it across!

7. MAKE NOISE
Talk, yell, laugh, screetch, whistle. Pretend you are on a game show. Or not. Just vocalize.

8. SHED YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC
Pretend you’re a dog, or an autistic, or a circus clown, or an astronaut, or a teenage Britney Spears fan, or a tree. What would they come up with?

9. STEAL FROM THE ENVIRONMENT
Read over that guy’s shoulder. What’s on the bottom of your shoe? Look up. Look down. Look over there. What is that woman wearing? Who’s driving that car? What type of clouds are those? Is it really this late? Keep looking around until something clicks (or your minute runs out).

10. LET GO OF YOUR EGO OR SOMEBODY’S GOING TO GET HURT.
You can be a genius later, right now you don’t have the time. Try to come up with a terrible idea. Try as hard as you can to come up with the worst idea you’ve ever had. If that doesn’t work, then just be obvious.

11. THERE IS NO BOX™.
Fuck it. Break the rules. Do what you want. See if I care.

1) The Deathstar Set My Curtains On Fire!
2) Your Jealous God May Punish You For Shopping at IKEA
3) Only Use with Fire-Retardant Curtains
4) Never Let More Than 2 Beams of Light into Your Bathroom At One Time
5) If You Are Ugly You Will Have Bad Luck
6) Who’s The Firest of Them All?
7) Only Use This Mirror With Venetians
Not To Be Confused With Pink Floyd Album Art
9) Objects In Mirror May Burn Your House Down
10) DON’T Let The Sun Shine In

Please post your suggestions in the comments section.

• Get out your stopwatch (it’s a selling feature on almost every new phone), or set the timer on the microwave, or look at the analog second hand on your watch, or dust off that old box of Boggle sitting in the basement and steal the hourglass egg timer, but figure out a way to mark the passage of time. Count if you have to, or mark the length of your shadow (only works outside during the day).
• Prepare 1 question or creative problem you would like to solve or brainstorm on.
• Write down 1 idea every minute.
• Repeat as needed.

It’s that simple. Don’t lag. Don’t hesitate (or you’ll be lost don’t forget). Don’t self-edit. Partners or groups are okay with me if they’re okay with you. Go back and take your time exploding the ideas that resonate. Caution: rules may change at any time.